‘Recovering Man Child’ Highlights the Unnecessary Ways Men Exhaust Their Partners

A “recovering man child” is using a series of TikTok videos to demonstrate the many, many ways men add to their partners’ emotional labor through small actions

In virtually all relationships, there’s emotional labor involved—the invisible mental work that each partner has to do to help maintain the relationship and household, take care of kids and pets, do their job, and everything else that life requires. Emotional labor is a part of life, and there’s no way to eliminate it entirely. When it becomes a problem is when one partner thoughtlessly piles a ton of unnecessary extra labor on their partner and expects them to just handle it—and many studies show that in heterosexual relationships, it’s so, so common for men to do this to their girlfriends and wives. That’s what one “recovering man child” is pointing out in a series of TikTok videos, where he explains common ways men tend to add extra emotional labor to their partners’ plates, and how they can correct course.

Zach, who goes by @zachthinkshare on TikTok, is a husband and dad who shares examples of how he himself has added extra “mental load” for his wife, and how he’s learning to recognize when he’s doing it and take back the load so his wife doesn’t have to carry it for him.


BOOKMARK for next time you need to explain why youre annoyed #fairplay #fairplayfacilitator #domesticlabor #momsofboston #domesticlaborisstilllabor #recoveringmanchild

♬ Little Things – Adrian Berenguer

In one video, he shares this example: His wife made blueberry muffins, and their daughter wanted one, so he yelled across the house to his wife, “Do you think these muffins are too hot to feed to her?”

Instead of asking, he could have just felt the muffins. Instead, he interrupted whatever his wife was doing to ask.

“I don’t know what she was doing in the other room, but if she’s doing anything that requires a little bit of thought, she has to switch directions with her brain, answer the question, and come back to it,” Zach explains. “Multiply that by one or five or 10 or 100 things a day. That’s called decision fatigue.”

In another example, Zach and his family are going to a party at their in-laws’ house. They’re bringing chairs for the party, which starts at noon, and Zach is wondering what time they need to leave (while also considering their two-year-old’s nap time in the day’s plans). But instead of just asking his wife what time, he goes to her with a suggestion that “shows his work.”


BOOKMARK next time you get annoyed when they ask when you want to leave #mentalload #fairplay #fairplayfacilitator #recoveringmanchild

♬ Little Things – Adrian Berenguer

Source link

About The Author

Scroll to Top